A Note from Christa ...

Looking back, I can hardly believe that a year has passed. It seems that just a short while ago a devoted servant of God asked me to take a step in the direction of a fully devoted follower; to take the time out of my life to volunteer in the lives of the children of my church. What makes the passing time that much harder to believe is when I remember how firmly I said “no”. I declined the opportunity to serve God and his children. Whole heartedly I can admit how little I even considered the idea initially. I thought it ridiculous for me to think about giving up my precious time when I was a new wife, a new graduate student, and a new teacher. How silly it would be for God to really ask that much of me. What’s interesting is how much that decision haunted me. My mind constantly wandered to my gentle declines, leaning on my lack of time to give and my devotion to my previous church years beforehand. Each time these words and those thoughts reentered my mind, I found a way to immediately dismiss them, each time dismissing God. My whole life I have been in prayer with God; we talk about everything. I seek out his opinion in the smallest aspect of my life and yet at this time I was completely dismissing his urging for my life.

One night I was awake, again, and finally allowed myself to succumb to the deep thoughts that had been roaming around inside for too long. I found myself in the living room talking aloud with my maker about his plans for my life. In disbelief, I tried to convince him, or rather myself, that this was illogical, that my schooling and career was more important. I gambled with him, “you have always wanted me to work with children, and if I want to continue doing that then I need to be dedicated to my students; how can I be dedicated if I am split in so many directions?” A memory struck me. Just a year or so before that moment I had been praying. When I left my former church family it was because my future husband and I were seeking a new church home together. God had brought us to 5 Stones, but something was missing. My heart ached to be involved; to feel like it was contributing. Was this not the perfect way for God to use my gifts and my love of children to further his kingdom? What more could I possibly ask of him?

My direction was so clear. He had gone ahead of me and laid the path; he had been preparing one of my contributions to his kingdom long before I even felt ready to make them. Although much of my head was in disagreement, my heart and my lips jumped for joy at the chance to follow the path. I must admit that God and I continued to have conversations that included my unwillingness to proceed at times, but through this ministry our relationship has been strengthened and so my mind is more on target with his plans. I can honestly say that time has flown by in the last year, and it is still trying at times to find enough of it, but God has been abundantly faithful and has been increasing my own faith and devotion one step at a time. If there is any message that I can share from this experience it is simply to allow yourself to sink into God’s plans for your life and fully engage them; he has only the best in mind for his children.